funny enough to share with the internet

Denial

It seems like everyone goes crazy when you call them rich. Everyone tries so hard to protect themselves from looking like they have it easy. I remember calling a girl rich because she had a Mercedes and she yelled at me, "I'm not rich, my parents work very hard for their money." This has nothing to do with how hard your parents work. Most people I know are pretty spoiled; we all have these computers and videogames and iPods and cellphones. But it seems like no one wants to admit they get things fairly easily. Everyone always brags about how poor they used to be and how bad they had it.

1. Rappers
2. Parents
3. A lot of the African-American population
4. A lot of the Hispanic population
5. A lot of the Asian population
6. A lot of the White population
7. A lot of the Native American population

Basically everyone. Anyway, whenever you call a lot people rich, they'll explain to you how they used to have a hard time getting money and stuff. If you've ever met anyone that used to live in a poorer neighborhood (or at least they speak of it that way), you know they get all bigheaded for being from a tough neighborhood.

Hey You Big Meanies

Stop being such big buttholes. There's no need to be mean to people, whether its towards me or other people commenting. The fact is, I write things that some people will read and like and others will dislike. And if you dislike it, then, well, that kind of sucks, but I mean, you're only an opinion. But, you act as if your opinion is fact. "That wasn't funny at all." Yeah yeah, you don't think so, but when a lot of people are "lol'ing" at it, then you're probably wrong. I appreciate that you are so disgusted with my sense of humor that you have to comment me and tell the whole internet you hate it, but I'm telling you, it's not easy to write things that everyone will like. It's impossible. It's impossible to do something have 100% of people like things. So, just because you don't like it, it doesn't mean you're allowed to be an butthole to me. Gosh, all I'm trying to do is make you happy. I'd like a little more appreciation. 

2008: What happened? (still unfinished)

1. Obama won the election, becoming the whitest black guy to become president (Not to be confused with the blackest white president, Bill Clinton).
2. Rihanna released approximately 12 Top 100 Billboard hits. Coincidentally, her forehead is the same number in inches. AMIRITE?
3. The Dark Knight, starring Heath Ledger, grossed a whole lot of money. I hope he returns for the third movie.
4. Hannah Montana's cult grew twentyfold. She has her own line of toothbrushes, bags, soaps, deodorants, TV's, videogames, bananas, gold teeth, weenies, crack pipes, and prosthetic limbs.
5. Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes both passed away this year, maybe it's America's racist way of paying back to the white supremicists for having a Black person win the election.
6. The Twilight series got really popular and made dozens of boys reading it look gay.
7. Proposition 8 was passed in California, outlawing homosexual marriage and pissing me off. All the people who voted for it are fags.
8. Michael Phelps was famous for a month.
9. The rickroll became very popular. Just like Katy Perry.
10. The Large Hadron Collider was invented, scaring the crap out of people when it was known to maybe have the ability to create blackholes. 
11. In Rainbows by Radiohead was physically released on Jan. 1, 2008. I can't say Radiohead is one of my favorite artists, but this is one of my favorite albums. 
12. Britney spears went from nuts to goodlooking again. 
13. Jonas Brothers (My favorite is Nick) got crazy popular this year, I think.
14. Wall-E made everyone cry. Besides me, I'm a man.
15. Viva La Vida
16. Lil Wayne released Tha Carter III, proving that scary monsters can be successful.
17. Lil Wayne is very ugly.
18. Someone threw a shoe at George Bush.

Dear Emma Watson

Dear Emma Watson,
You need to quit calling me. You've left over five voicemails and at least 60 text messages. You need to get over me. You're simply not the one for me. You've only wanted sex in this relationship and frankly, I'm tired. All you ever talk about is tea and your loyalty to the queen. And quit calling me a muggle. Quit calling me a bluecoat rebel too. Ever since we broke up, you, Natalie Portman, and Kristin Bell have been constantly calling me to have sex with you guys. C'mon guys, quit it.

Love,

Kevin

PS edit: Quit taxing my tea.

deep poetry 12/27

what is so wrong
with wanting some lovin'
when who i want to do
is my cousin
why is this fun
such a sin
when the only out of bounds
is my kin
all i want
is you in my arms
because ancestry
ain't such a harm
no one has to know
you don't have to tell
no one will know
we're going to hell
my love for you
nothing can top it
and all i wish
is that you were adopted

my heart says i want to
my brain says i can't
just because
your mom is my aunt

EDIT: I'm not talking about my cousin Diana. It's symbolic. It's about the repercussions of the Iraq War in suburban life.

Response to Anonymous: You can't be so serious all the time. And if you don't think I'm funny enough for you, that's okay; I'm sure you don't write things that everyone will love and niether do I. Or maybe you shouldn't pick out the little things that you dislike and comment about those, because no one else cares. If you want, blogger.com is free, sign up a blog and write stuff you like. I'm sure two people will love it.

Dear Diana Luu

Dear Diana Luu,
F you. Don't ever forget to push back down the shower knob in the bathtub again. Do you know how inconsiderate that is? When I turn the water on and negative million degree water supermans all over me I am not happy. I hope you never come to my house again. I disown you as a cousin. By the way, your twin sister Connie is hotter than you. You ruined Christmas. I hate you.

F you,
Kevin

About Missing Girls On The TV

It angers me to see that the news networks spend a lot of time on missing little girls. Yes, it's sad to think that little girls are being abducted and murdered and stuff, but they simply do not deserve the airtime they get. These little girls never did anything for anyone. I mean... there are people in the army who die everyday and people in the police who die everyday and people who do good things that die, but the people who didn't do anything get to be on TV. Caylee Anthony or whatever and Madeline McCann never did anything, but they each had hours and hours of airtime. There are people dying everywhere and these two girls who never did a thing for the world get to be famous for nothing. It's like, we totally forget that war is going on and there's a genocide in Darfur and there's a horrible economic fuckup and our whole world is dying. We forget that and we have our news concentrate on missing girls who never did anything for anyone. Isn't it funny that we assume all the world's problems are solved once they are omitted from the news? I just think it's unfair that there are some cases like this that are given more attention to things that need this attention.

Winterbreak: A Work in Progress

Movies I've Seen During Winter Break:American Beauty
American Psycho
Science of Sleep
Rescue Dawn
Squid and the Whale
Gone Baby Gone
Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Cool Music Songs 12/4

Maybe every once in awhile, I'll introduce some music I like to everyone.

Since today's December 4th, why not December 4th by Jay-Z and mixed by Danger Mouse?

I don't want a career

There's nothing I want to do for my whole entire life. The same stuff over and over. We get paid for being repetitious droning workers for the rest of our lives and we're supposed to be happy? It's lame how life has no real breaks. We go to school for 13 years. 8 hours a day. 5 days a week. 10 months a year. 13 years by the time you're 18. Then you're finally free. free to go to college. And they tell you, to make money (because money is true happiness), go to college for 8 more years. Then once you're done with that, go to work for the rest of your life. Then you raise kids. And they grow up to resent you and hate you and don't even listen to you anyway. You spend about 21 years in school, 30 years working, and like 20 years dying. And when you finally die, you are not remembered. You weren't the president. And you didn't invent anything. You never became a famous musician or actor. You worked at some office or store or whatever, and you were forgotten. You won't inspire anyone for years to come. No one will write biographies about you. There won't be a movie made about you. We're all insignificant nothings.

Kevin Tran: A Memoir

Back then, I was different. Back then, I was a boy; Now, I am a man.

I am a man with armpit hair. With leg hairs. With chin hair. I also kind of have arm hair. I currently weigh about 15 pounds more than I did when I started the blog. What's the story behind the creation of the blog? Well, I'll tell you.

I was born premature -ten months premature- one month before I was conceived. This led to many despairing illnesses which led to the doctors to believe I would grow up be mentally impaired. I was born blind and deaf and by the age of three, I had taught myself to see and hear. As a mentally challenged African-American boy living in the ghetto, I had it hard. When my father left my mother, I had nothing to do but spend the little money I had on records. The magic of music healed me. I was no longer mentally disabled, underground rap music saved my life. In a way, that record saved my life. I owe the success of my life to Vanilla Ice.

Then I started a blog to complain about things.

Pride

Why are people proud of their race?

One doesn't achieve anything by being born into a certain group of people. Unless you fought your way to independence, you didn't do a single thing to be born as a whatever you are. When your favorite sports team wins the championships, did you win? No, the team did, you didn't do crap. Where do you get this sense of pride? If you're part of the superior race in whatever, you didn't do anything to achieve that, you were just lucky that your parents had sex.

Edit: I'm only using the sports thing as an analogy, anyway I'm saying that people shouldn't grow a sense of achievement for being a certain race, they did nothing to deserve it. If you're proud of your race, what did you do to earn that? All it does is grow arrogance and racism.

Dear Black People on Bus 131

Dear Black People on Bus 131,
Rosa Parks and Montgomery strove so hard to gain racial equity on buses; Black Americans are Americans nonetheless, and should not be lowered to the back of the bus. So why are you guys sitting in the back all the time? What's so cool about the back of the bus?

Which brings me to my next topic. Black Americans really struggled to gain equality in not only the buses, but schools as well. Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, and all other non-white people wanted the opportunity to learn; to learn with nice books, nice teachers, and nice everything. The same races and clusters of people who fought to have equal education brought up the kids who fail and don't try? So tell me why a whole bunch of people who don't give a crap about school and drop out are people of color. The same black, mexican, and asian kids who sit in the back of my bus are the same kids who fail or get extremely low grades. You guys who think you're too cool to learn and get good grades, do you realize that you're not going to get anywhere in life? You're not going to rap or play basketball your way out of hard work. Maybe I'm racist or something, but where are all the Black kids in my AP classes? It just seems like a waste when people fight for equality and the generations who come after them don't appreciate it.

And I'm not saying that a lot of Black/Mexican/Asian/etc. people are dumb, but can't you agree there's too great of a percentage that simply do not try?

Response to "Anonymous" about Girls Having it Easy

Final: Okay fine, "Anonymous", you're not a big dumby. I am the big dumby.

"Girls have it hard... Not every girl is born beautiful in case you haven't noticed... They care more about personality than guys do...Plus even the pretty girls aren't naturally that way. Do you think girls just wake up beautiful? NO..."

It's funny that you don't read my whole blog before you argue about it. First off, I said "be a good-looking girl." So most of your argument isn't even arguing against me. Second of all, some girls are just born pretty and wake up that way. I'm pretty sure models don't have to rely on all make-up to be good at what they're paid to do. Not all pretty girls wear make up. Actually, a lot of girls don't wear make-up.

"If you try hard enough you will get a girl. All you have to do is play the nice guy roll and girls will come calling."

I can get a girl, I think you're mad because you can't get a guy, and I can't help you with that. But anyway, I don't really know what you are talking about. Girls always say that a sense of humor is the most important thing, if so, then I know a lot of girls who owe me and some other dudes a whole lot sexing.

"All guys really care about is sex. Don't try to deny it. It's all about looks with a guy."

So what?

I think you don't understand that point that good-looking girls DO have it easy. So do good-looking guys, I guess.

In Response to "GrlPwr": MY ARGUMENT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING SEX-CRAZED! Anyway, I hope you're trying to sound stupid, because no one ever said you HAVE to be pretty and popular. You're the superficial one, not me. I'm just f'ing saying, good-looking girls can get away with a lot more things than the more homely girls. It's a fact. Maybe not in all cases, but in general, it is. I never said boys are better than girls. I never said all girls are meant to is to have sex with. But you're obviously on the lower end of the female intelligence spectrum for not having the ability to read correctly. Why do you think I'm sexist for thinking that good-looking girls have it easy, if not easier? Same for good-looking guys, I guess. If you're saying guys are more sex-crazed, then you're right. That proves my point. That's why pretty girls have it easy. Because guys do things just for pretty girls.

EDIT NUMBER TWO:Just because pretty girls have to wear makeup, although that's debateable, that doesn't make their life hella hard. So that's not even a f'ing argument. So girls have to wear make up THAT'S SO HARDD. Anyway, if you don't agree, well, that's okay. There's no real reason to get so heated about something like this, because in the beginning I was only joking. But I'd like to read more people's opinion about the topic anyway. Let's all be happy and not be assholes to eachother though.

Mr. Malardovich

Dude this sub is the fucking shit! Look at this dude. Do you see his soul patch? And his hair? You're stupid if you don't think he's the baddest dude around.

Sarah Palin 2008!

Even though Obama is almost certainly winning, I'm scared that if McCain wins, and then dies, Sarah Palin will be president. It's funny that one of her main arguments is that Obama has little experience, let's see what she's been: a mayor of a little town and a governor for two years! And it's not like anyone can be a governor.



Whatever, watch this whole thing or at least watch the mayor duties are.

Oh right, I change my mind

Someone commented my earlier one...

lol
damn that sucks that you believe that
sorry but yes on 8
bringing on things that weren't supposed to exist will lead to more stupid ass shit
watch there be marriages between man and animal

yes on 8.

Oh yeah, you're totally right, because when they allow gay marriages people will start marrying animals. Yeah, I totally forgot that part of gay marriage. And what signifies as "things that weren't supposed to exist"? Like things that aren't natural? Like, I don't know, medicine and technology? Well, you have a point there, let's get rid of medicine because it disrupts the natural circle of life and adaptation. And technology, well in the bible, there weren't computers, so let's get rid of these ungodly things. And when man and animal start marrying, that's going to ruin your life? Or are you trying to protect the "sanctity of marriage"? Because when Anna Nicole Smith married that old dude for his money, that's real marriage. The truth is: letting gays marry won't do anything to harm you, it only benefit the gays and lesbians and taking that right away from them harms these people. How is this any more justifiable than racial discrimination? A lot of people arguing yes go, "When will we draw a line? If we let gays marry then we'll start letting killers out on streets, etc." Well, gays aren't homicidal maniacs. Letting gays marry is far from letting murderers out and letting people marry animals. Maybe this offends you, Christian/other religious readers, but you're not the only people that live in California, and it really doesn't affect you , does it? Letting gays marry won't do anything to you and you're being a big butthole not letting them.

YES ON 8!

Damn those liberal hippie teachers. Mrs. Reynolds, I can't believe why you persuaded me to be gay! When you let those gays marry, it really affects my life, right?

By the way, I LOVE THE WAR! IF AMERICANS DIE IN THE WAR THAN WE CAN ALL DIE FOR FREEDOM!

Just in case you couldn't tell, I'm not serious.

EDIT: You know how you learn about the African American Civil Rights Movement, and you go, "Wow, people were ignorant back then." Well, I feel the same way right now, but it's even worse. We live in a country founded on religious freedom and tolerance, but still, Christianity is forced upon everyone everyday. We have to pledge to a Christian God and be forced to follow Christian tenets. I'm not saying that's bad and I have nothing against Christians, but seriously, the least you can do is let someone be happy and marry whoever they want. Why does it matter to anyone else? Why should people even be allowed to vote against/for the right to marry? Just because it's against your beliefs, doesn't mean it can not be tolerated. Is everything only for the benefit of straight Christian people? It's the arrogance of some Christians that ruin it for the good ones. If gays are allowed to marry, it won't do anything to anyone. If anything, California will have better haircutters and interior design. I don't see any legitimate reason to ban gay marriage; it's a backwards step in liberty and equality, isn't it?

Steps to Success

The first step to success: be a good-looking girl. If you can't be a girl, skip to the second step. Anyway, good-looking girls have it easy. First of all you're a girl, so dudes will probably already do a lot of favors and stuff for you regardless if you're a good-looking one or not. However, if you're a good-looking girl, you've already found success through your genes and hair and boobies and whatever. Guys will pretty much do anything for you, while you aren't expected to do anything for him.

Girls aren't expected to do as much. You might say, "No, they are, Kevin, you're stupid." I beg to differ! In P.E., girls don't even have to do pull-ups, they just have to hold themselves up for like twenty seconds. They don't have to do as many sit-ups, push-ups, or even run as fast. Girls are allowed to cry. Boys, well, we all know, Boys don't cry. Boys always try to go out with the girls and do everything to make the girls happy while those same girls are jerks to those guys. Girls never really have to strive to get boyfriends, but boys are the ones who take the initiative. Girls get to like colors like purple, yellow, and pink without being gay. Girls can wear dresses and pants.

The second step to success: get breasts, long hair, and delete your wiener. Then go back to step one.

EDIT: This is pretty much the reason I have long hair and tight pants. All I need is boobies, right? Oh, and girls get away with a lot more things than boys do.

Edit 2: Girls don't get boners.

"anemone", I replied to you in my comments.

I'm Sorry

Due to the lack of my updates, I feel like I lose the amount of people who read my blog. Well, I never really expected to become this sub-internetstar; to have a blog that people- whether I know them personally or not, to frequently read or at least read once a month is pretty damn successful. Due to people telling me my blogs are nice or whatever, I write blogs very often but I never publish them. Why? Because it's impossible to be funny or smart all the time. I'm not so good at being either, so it takes me a long time to write things. I write something and I go: will this make my readers think I'm funny? Smart? Immature? I always ask myself whether or not I should delete a post that doesn't gain many comments; I believe they are unsuccessful and don't need to exist if they can't keep up to the standards/expectations I have given myself for each post. Should I deleted crappy posts? I don't know. I've probably written hundreds of different things about random subjects, but I've deleted a whole bunch of them before they were even published.

School also is an inhibitor; School sucks balls.

Anyway, since I'm already posting, I should include an anecdote from today.

I walk in to the school bathroom and into the stall to, well, pee. To my right, underneath the stall wall, is a pair of shoes facing the direction of my back; he was pooping. For some reason I had the strongest desire to pee all over his shoes and ruin his day for making the stupidest decision to poop at school. I had nothing to lose; he couldn't beat me up, never would he be able to finish and do his business of cleansing before I could leave the bathroom. Well, anyway, so I'm standing there thinking about how I can pee all over his shoes and ruin his day. Although his day was probably already ruined due to the fact that he was using the public school latrines to take a dump, he would have pee all over his shoes. Then I became paranoid. I began to fear that he was able to read my mind. Sometimes, I'm paranoid that when I think disgusting or bad things, the certain person nearby me might be able to read my thoughts. It's just, I don't know, a weird trait of mine, maybe yours too. I don't think I'm the only one. Anyway, I didn't pee on his shoes. Next time, don't poo at school.

Sunday Morning

I love Sacramento.

Rainy Day Activity

Holy poop, I am bored.

Edit: I sent this to my principal

Dear PGHS,

Please put paper towel dispensers in the bathroom, please. Through personal experience, I have felt the repercussions of the lack of paper towels. After I pee and wash my hands, I want to have my hands dry. People will look at me and think I peed all over my hands, or worse, I have very sweaty hands. Pleasant Grove Highschool, you fail to realize that slowly blowing air on my wet hands doesn't do much; the only thing it achieves is moving the water on my hands to the backside of my hands. The task of drying my hands becomes a perpetual rotating of my hand under slowly blowing air and the inevitable wiping my hands on my pants. Paper towels are not expensive; the level of moisture of my hands is not something to be decided by your frugality. We all know how the public school system works: students come to school; the district gets paid. Considering that I have not missed a day of school for at least a year and a half, I deserve hundreds of dollars in paper towels, however, I am only asking for enough to serve the job of drying my hands once or twice a day. With the kindness of your heart, you know to do the right thing.

Sincerely,

GATE, Honors, and AP Student,

Kevin Tran

EDIT:

Daxx Dalton: A Dolphin's Best Friend

You can skip to 1:30.

First ammendment rights don't exist in schools; you're not allowed to say bad words at school, right? C'mon Fats Dalton. I mean Daxx. Anyway, Daxx, you think that the fact that Obama's name is similar to one of a terrorist's makes him a terrorist? Good one, Fags Dalton, or should I call you by your similar name: Ass Dolphin? Also, your hand writing and design suck.

Shut your redneck ugly fatboy freckle face up you redneck ugly fatboy freckle face.

Edit: Anonymous, I commented in reply to your comment in the comments thing.

Busy

School completely diminished the time for me to sit and contemplate content for this blog. School is the reason why I don't get to play tennis, skateboard, play videogames, be lazy and do nothing. The only free time I get I spend playing tennis or relaxing. Ironically, school is meant to open doors and opportunities, but the only thing it accomplishes is restraining my freedom to do what I want. In school, we should only have to learn about the things that would benefit our future careers and jobs, but we end up learning useless bs that we'll never use in life. The reason why scientists and inventors progress in these new technologies: calculators, computers, etc., is to use them. So why are there no-calculator tests? How does an inclass essay provide any benefit to a person who wants to become... well, anything?

T-Shirts

What would you think of "kevinontheinter.net" t-shirts?

I'm not DC or Famous, I'm not going to slap my name on a t-shirt and call it done.

Like a real t-shirt, real print (like zumiez and stuff; not that digital printer bs).

Would you buy one? 10 dollars is probably the set price.

Depends on the design, right?

What do you think?

Sarah Palin

How can you be Pro-Life and Pro-Gun at the same time?

ANSWER ME THAT!

Actually, I have a better question; Sarah Palin, why are you stupid?

Or maybe I should be calling you by your real name:



Peggy Hill.

Girls Ruin Nickelodeon

Every successful Nickelodeon cartoon had a male main character: Doug, Hey Arnold, Rugrats, Fairly Oddparents, Spongebob, Invader Zim. That is because every show with a female main character, frankly, sucked. None of them are memorable and worth talking about. They were all stupid. It's kind of like Disney and their girlpower shows, but these ones are lame. All of these had the power to make me change the channel to goto Cartoon Network or some other station. I'm older now; I don't watch these stations, but I hope they bring back Doug and Hey Arnold (Do they still run Hey Arnold?) to Nickelodeon. No Zoe 101, guys.

Angela Anaconda:
I don't know why this show irritated me so much when I was younger. Maybe I hate how the main characters were all ugly and annoying. Or maybe because the show just was irritating. Yeah, that's what irritated me; the show was irritating. The artwork isn't even appealing or anything.

As Told By Ginger:
Wow. Again, the artwork is crappy, not in like a cool way, but crappy in it scares me way. The way their heads are over 9000 the size of their bodies. This show was very... stupid crap dumb poop head at the most.




My Life as a Teenage Robot:
First of all, how is a robot a girl? Robot vagina. This was just Nickelodeon's response to the success of all that anime crap all the azns watch. They try to make a fake anime and it's also retarded.

Some Stuff

What do you call a boy and a girl who date for only seven days?
A weak couple.

Hahaha!

"Spin the Bottle" should be a family game night game. It would bring many families closer together.

I was wandering around the Rancho Cordova Target and I stumbled upon the Back To School section in the back. This epoch brought me to realize that school starts in like a week and I'm still stuck in summer mode. Look at my farmer's tan. Look at the ghostly whiteness of my thighs compared to my calves. I even have a V-Neck tanline.

As much as I love summer, I don't. Seriously, it's like Africa every day.

No, not AIDS everyday, helllllllla hot every day.

By the way, my birthday is in the beginning of September and I'd like money to buy a new bed. Is there a law that I can't advertise my avaracious desires on my blog? No. Don't bother getting me anything else but money or something you made yourself. Not that anyone gets me anything ever, but if you're really thinking about it, give me ten dollars and I'll be fine or make me a card with your own drawings and stuff, don't buy me lotion or something I don't really need.

Also, I don't like when kids wear sunglasses. I really don't even like when I wear sunglasses. It really bothers me. It gives off this vibe of "Oh check me out I'm wearing sunglasses."

Oh, and if you haven't seen The Dark Knight yet, I don't know what's wrong with you, Sarah.

Connie asks, "How does it feel to have a small room?"
F-ck you, you share your room with your sister. How does it feel like to have a small weiner, fatman?

Sarah asks, "How would you describe yourself?"
I don't know. I don't think I have the liberty to describe myself. I think that's what other people are for. People judge eachother, I think. When someone judges themselves, they're usually wrong. Low self-esteems, too high of a confidence, modesty, and all that crap distorts someone's self-image, or at least how someone talks about their self-image, right?

and "What are you goals in life?"
Well, I want to be happily rich and stuff when I'm older. Really. I want to make tons of money and live with a nice house with matching furniture and ergonomic chairs and all that. Oh and I said "happily" so, I don't want to be hella rich and be sad all the time. But, that's what money is for: buying happiness.

and "What are some of your hobbies?"
I play tennis a lot. I try to play guitar, but not successfully. I eat not unfrequently.
I sleep a lot.

and "Where do you see yourself ten years from now?"
I'll probably be in school still. Graduate school or something. Unless I die or something, that would suck.

Edit: I changed "week" to "weak".

Wish

I wish there were more racist stereotypes about white people.
It's pretty lame that white people have not really any bad things against them. The only racist stereotype about white people are that they are all racist. Maybe that's the reason why there are no racist jokes and stuff about white people because they're the ones that invented all the ones about all the other ethnicities. Well, you know what? I'll make some up right now, you big jerks.

• All white people can dislocate their jaws to eat large animals.
  
• All white people have no arms or legs.
  
• White people shed their skin once a year.
• White people look like this:
  

Just kidding, white people are a-okay.

I wish public school bathrooms weren't so dirty.
If they were clean and stuff, I wouldn't be scared to use them. Especially if the toilet paper didn't feel like newspaper. Not that I would know or anything.

I wish meat didn't taste good.
If meat didn't taste good, I'd be a vegetarian. But it does.

I wish people were labeled correctly.
How come someone doesn't have to skateboard to be a skater? And someone doesn't have to be smart to be called a nerd. Stuff like that kinda annoys me.

I wish crazy-as_ people didn't exist.
"A passenger repeatedly stabbed and then decapitated a young man aboard a Greyhound bus travelling through Manitoba overnight in what appears to be a random attack, a witness said Thursday."


I wish theses crappy movies weren't continued being made.

• Epic Movie
• Superhero Movie
• Date Movie
• Disaster Movie
• Meet the Spartans

I wish crappy songs weren't crappy.
























I wish there were more videos like this on youtube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0&feature=related
(Sorry, it doesn't allow me to embed it.)

Everydaze

Today is an Everydaze. Actually, most of summer days are everdazes. Days where you don't do anything special. That's why there aren't new blogs. Nothing interesting is happening. The summer is full of days full of routine and habit. I wake up, brush my teeth, eat, stare mindlessly at a computer screen for hours, play tennis for hours, come home, eat, go on the computer and sleep. Every day(z).

Also, EveryDaze (Great product placement, eh?) is the URL of William Leung. He's basically some guy with big ideas and stuff. He shares his thought on his life as a gay male. Just kidding, he's not gay. Anyway, he's got tons of interesting photos and writings of his aspect of life and all that.

Click the banner to go to his site.

U R SoOo TITE!!!

You need to know that you're awesome. Every single one of you individuals. Whether you know it or not, you're super awesome groovy cool. On a scale from 1 to 10 of awesomeness, you would get "Hella." You're very cool. Your family loves you and if not, there's someone who loves you. I heard that Angelina Jolie wants to have sex with you. Heck, I'll probably have sex with you. You make me want to kiss you. And like it! You, the reader, probably has sex with multiple supermodels every day. Twelve times a day. You're just really awesome. I heard you fart rainbows and candy, I can't confirm this, but I'm sure it's true. I heard you're a member of Daft Punk. Basically, I heard you was hella cool.Anyone who is reading this is super cool and awesome. Unless you're Scar. You f-cking as-hole, you killed your brother. F-CK YOU. I HATE YOU. MUFASA WAS YOUR BROTHER. AND YOU TRIED TO KILL YOUR NEPHEW. YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!!! I HATE YOU!

Progression

I think life is all about progression. I think we should begin to criticize our daily performance. The only way to improve is to know your flaws, I think. So maybe this is a little over the top, but what if we were to review ourselves at the end of each and every day? Like, we write down what we need to improve. We'll just keep progressing as human beings. There's no stopping because no one can really be perfect. This isn't like for working out and stuff. This is for every aspect of life. Let's say you write down that you need to improve your backhand strokes in tennis. The next time you play [and for the rest of your life] you concentrate on being better in then you were the day before. If you keep completing all these little goals, every single day, you're getting closer to your self-projected image of perfection. New Year's Resolutions don't stick around after January 7th. Every time we get rid of a bad habit or improve, we'll feel better about ourselves. But if you made smaller, more realistic goals every day and focused on achieving these goals, then what's the negative side to it? The only thing I can imagine going wrong is getting crazy on being perfect and being too harsh on ourselves. Maybe I'm thinking the opposite of what's good. Good is being happy with what you've got right now, right? But when you're making noticeable improvements to your life, at least you can see you're getting somewhere and making progress.

Neuter Your Pets

We neuter our dogs because we don't want them to go around everywhere having sex with all the bitches [ha!] and girls. It reduces a dog's testosterone and may make it less aggressive and stuff. So you're thinking, "Kevin, why are you talking about this? And why are you hot?" To answer the latter, I'm hot because I'm fly, you ain't cause you're not. To answer the former, because imagine using the same ideals for humans. We should start neutering those dogs who go around sexing everyone up. We should neuter the ones who don't deserve to have offspring. Neuter those who have kids and leave them at parks and stuff. Those people need not testicles. This way, there will be less children being left at parks and all that horrible stuff. It's starting the abortion before you have to kill an innocent baby. Let's spay Paris Hilton so she won't be producing an heir to undeserved fortune and fame. The human race is having a population crisis, maybe this is the answer. This can reduce the amount of teen pregnancies.

Or maybe, people need to start using condoms and stop being stupid.

Out of Ideas

I feel like I owe it to the two or three people who read my blog a good post whenever I post one. I start posts daily, but I usually end up trashing them because they aren't up to par with older ones. When I don't post anything for awhile, I'll put up some garbage that I'm not satisfied with and be disappointed with myself. No ideas are surfacing in the ocean of my mind. I feel emptied out of profound ideas and witty remarks. I want to have deep conversations with people everyday but people are more willing to have shallow impersonal conversations. They go along the lines of:

Me: What's up?
You: Nothing much, you?

Next time I ask you what's up, tell me what's up with your life. Let's make some theme statements. Eventually, with all of the good blog posts, I should be able to collaborate with a team of philosophers and make a universal thesis describing how to live life. I wish people talked more about life and morals more than who's going to win America's Next Best Dance Crew. There's a lack of real meaning in the majority of popular music and just overall media. There are more bootyshakin' hits out there then... music with meaning.
There are a lot of kids out in my neighborhood drinking and smoking before their voices have been blessed by puberty.
I think a lot of teenagers or adolescents or whatever need to sit down and think where they're going with their life. We need to think about what we're doing and if it's making a positive impact on our lives and if it's a step in the right direction. Is there seriously a real good reason to be drinking and smoking at this age? Stop with the vandalism and profanity. I wish I can just sit down, go on aim, and have a seriously profound conversation with anyone.

All of this stuff was said before, but I'm out of ideas anyway.

The Dark Knight

Everyone go watch The Dark Knight. And Wall-E too, I guess.

It's a lot better than Martin Lawrence's Batman rendition, Black Knight.




Believe the hype, The Dark Knight is well worth it.

Peniseseses

dammititskevin: what should i write about?

MEG0TAKEP1SS: for your blog?

dammititskevin: yeah

MEG0TAKEP1SS: penis

My cousin Diana told me to write about penis. Her twin sister, Connie, comments "Boo! Needs more wiener!" So guess what? I'm writing about penises.

Why does every guy talk so mythical of their penis? Like "Hey bro, my penis is used to knock down skyscrapers." or "Hey dude, my wiener is the bad guy in Gears of War 2." Gentlemen. Shut the f-ck up. And the shutting up should not stop there. No. Stop insulting the lengths of other men's wieners. It's pretty gay. Not like anything's wrong with being gay, but it's seriously gay. No one ever insults my wiener because you know, I'm Asian. You know what they say about Asians! Right guys?

The truth of the matter is:

you are not taller lying down,
your penis didn't make the dinosaurs extinct,
your penis didn't kill Kurt Cobain,
your penis is not legend,
your penis didn't catch all 150 pokemon,
your penis isn't in Marcellus Wallace's briefcase,
your penis didn't cause 9/11,
your penis isn't an ICBM,
your penis can't breathe with no air,
your penis isn't a member of the JabbawockeeZ,
and talking about your penis won't make it any bigger.

JabbaCockeeZ and Kaba Modest

The title doesn't have much relevance, I just thought it was cool.

But on the topic of America's Best Dance Crew, I always thought breakdancing (or any dancing) was supposed to bring all different types of people together, the only thing diverse about the contestants are which part of the Philippines they are from. Seriously now, every group is a bunch of flip bboyz. Nothing bad about Filipinos, but C'MON other ethnic groups of America, we need to Step Up (2: The Streets Now Available On DVD) and not be destroyed.Oh and, if you're not an actual Jabbawockee "crew" member, then please don't wear the shirt and mask. I don't know, whatever happened to the word "poser"? No one uses it nowadays. This guy is lame (I found him on Google). He should just wear a shirt that says, "I'm unoriginal and I like copying people. Oh and I'm an AZN."

Kids

I was biking home today from the tennis courts and I saw a group of three middle school kids smoking a cigarette. One of them said "Let me get a hit of that." and he was looking straight at my waterbackpack with the rubber straw in my mouth. First of all, middle school kids aren't supposed to be smoking. Second of all, he shouldn't be relating everything you put your mouth on a cigarette. I see these same kids at the basketball courts every day. Highschool dropouts in the making. They're not smart. They're not talented. They're not even good at basketball. These kids have no sense of style. For example, these kids have their Spongebob with a grill t-shirts, bedazzled with all the cool fake jewlery. All of these kids want to roll with the gangsters and smoke. They all talk shi- and they think they're invincible because they've never fought before. They should join gangs and get hurt. All these little kids stabbing eachother and getting hurt is a good thing: it just minimizes the amount of stupidity on earth. Or I hope they get addicted to crack, then they'll be sticking other things in their mouths to get their drugs, and they won't be cigarettes.

Bay Area Visit Pt.1

Interesting box of crayons at the Optometrist's.


I've been spending a lot of quality time with my computer.


Pixar's car coloring book page. What is this?


Motorcycle guy.


Lotus car.


Telephone wires.


Ray's and my set up in Paolo's room.


My Jordans.

My Suicide Blog

Dear You,

A boy of 13 hanged himself with his school tie after his father confiscated a computer game.
Jake Roberts wanted to play it on his Nintendo Wii console but couldn't because his sister was watching TV.

Source: Daily Mail
Maybe I'm being unsympathetic and immoral, but am I the only one who thinks it's hard to feel compassionate for a kid who took his own life for a video game? Suicide is happening way too often and for the stupidest reasons. There will always be people who kill themselves because of their girlfriends/boyfriends but now kids are killing themselves over World of Warcraft, Myspace, and now a game of Mario Kart. I wish I could say I feel sorry for kids who kill themselves over these things, but I can't, because I'd be a liar. And lying is wrong.

And I'm killing myself because my last blog didn't produce enough comments.

Sincerely,

Kevin

PS:
Whoever wrote the article is also pretty stupid. I quote, "...a computer game. Jake Roberts wanted to play it on his Nintendo..." I'm sorry that the writer doesn't know the difference between a computer and a game system. Old people need to start understanding what they're telling kids. Like when teachers tell kids to put their iPods away; when will they realize that iPods are a specific group of mp3 players? Or put your Pokeman cards away.

Barack Oballa

Barack Obama wins not only basketball games, but my heart. The whole basketball game is symbolic. He knows when to take chances. He knows how to succeed. He's a team player. He will unite the people of America. The last time John McCain had anything to do with team playing was the Salem Witch Trials in 1692.
Look how far Obama has come. His name is Barack Hussein Obama. His last two names are the names (or similar to) of America's greatest enemies and he manages to win the democratic nomination. Obama is so much cooler than McCain. Everyone thinks McCain is so cool because he was a prisoner of war a couple hundred years ago.

Disney Channel Upsets Me

Her pose spells "A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E".

Well, Disney Channel upsets me, hence the title. The programs all try very hard to become politically correct, with their multi-ethnic casts of every show. The main thing about Disney Channel that gets me is how every show is revolved around the intelligent female and her superiority to well, the opposite gender (IE. Kim Possible, Even Stevens, Lizzy McGuire, Hannah Montana or movies like MotoCrossed and Double Teamed etc.). In all these shows (or movies), the main character is a hot slut, er, respectable teenage female who is smarter and stronger than basically everyone, especially boys. All these programs scream "Girl Power!" and "F*** boys because girls have bigger balls."
But there is one show that ticks me off more than any of those. It's the show that exploits not only the "Girl Power" aspect of Disney Channel, but the "Black Power" one as well. No, not your favorite Cosby Show star, Raven Simone's show, but Proud Family. Everything about the show is racist and racist. The Proud family is portraying all the stereotypes of every race and encouraging the continued prejudice. All the Black people are obnoxious and loud. All the Asian people are smart and nerdy. All the white people are dorky. Mexican people are mexican-like.



Left to right: Heroic intelligent smart Black female, E-40, Bootylicious-GhettoFab-OffTheChain girl, Napoleon Dynamite, and LatinaGurl4Lyf.

Well, as the proud family is racist and unbelievably irritating. One thing about the Disney Channel makes me glad. They took one more step into trying to have this diverse set of characters but they did it well this time. They hired a Female Black Lesbian for Highschool Musical: Corbin Bleu.

Corbin Bleu is a perfect way to incorporate a very obscure group of diverse people.

Running Redlights

I found out today that the police in Davis will actually pull you over for running a red light. On a bike. My brother and I were biking to his apartment and the street was free of cars besides the ones on the other side of the road, so we ran the red light and luckily for us, in the group of cars opposite of us was a motorcycle cop. He turned on his lights and attempted to pull my brother and me over. Well, my brother explained to him that I was underaged but, my brother got a ticket. The main point of this story is that it's hard to respect police men when they spend all this time giving people tickets for speeding, running lights, and parking violations. They spend more time harassing skateboarders than actually stopping real crimes. When was the last time you heard in the news of a police department finding a serial killer? Maybe it's a coincidence that the police are very good at doing things that make them money. I don't hate cops, I'm just forgetting why I shouldn't.

Asian vs azn

New icon for my blog. I'm happy.

Anyway, I officially declare "azn" a derogatory term for wannabe gangster/thug Asian people. Or basically, a word for an Asian American following to many negative Asian stereotypes. An azn takes pictures with their double peace signs on their hands with their Sidekicks. An azn wears expensive shoes and NEVER creases them or just has hella shoes. An azn wants to fix up their import car. An azn plays Super Smash Brothers. An azn has pinoy/viet pride. An azn is a former b-boy. An azn is lame. Asians are cool. Some asians get away with some of those, but for the most part, when doing these acts of azn, you are lame. But there are exceptions.

And how come any music with feeling is now considered emo? A lot of people now listen to music that really doesn't make you think. Or feel. What's the use of it? I really don't think there's substance to supermann'ing any hoes. Or licking lollipops. Really, everyone supports these one hit wonder, no-substance, only catchy, freakdancing songs. None of these rappers stick around because most of them suck pretty bad.

"Sometimes people seem to think that my songs are more personal than somebody else's and I don't really think that's true. Y'know, I think my songs reveal whatever they reveal, they say certain things about who I am, whereas Will Smith singing "Gettin' Jiggy With It" reveals certain things about who he is. Like for one thing that he doesn't mind singing a senseless song but I don't know, it's just--I don't know it's sort of like if no one is playing--if people who are by and large on the radio and television really don't give a shit what words they're singing then someone comes along who actually sings about things that matter to them, then everybody thinks that their lyrics are really personal. But it's just situational." - Elliott Smith

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Now playing: Death Cab For Cutie - Bixby Canyon Bridge
via FoxyTunes

Genocide and Tsunami in Malaysia- The New Black?

Out of the myriad of global warming enormities and third-world country genocidal atrocities, there is one specific event occurring that I would like to avert your attention to: the genocide of the Blach tribe in Malaysia subsequent to a horrific tsunami that stormed through the country. Currently, there are countless amounts of crimes committed against humanity and even more natural disasters throughout the planet and several questions have surfaced: Who is to blame? What do I do? How much more considerate and unselfish do I look when I tell people I have donated?
The first question: who is to blame? The Malaysians are going through two different appalling events, so it might be too hard to specify that George W. Bush is at fault for both the tsunami and genocide. Scientific evidence and examination from the University of Berkeley, Harvard, and Mr. Corgiat’s Earth Science class conclude that George bush invented tsunamis deliberately to kill innocent Malaysians and use the deceased Blach bodies to extract oil. Critically acclaimed producer, rapper, and certified playa, Kanye West, realized Bush’s malevolent intentions and decided to speak out against the President during a telethon fundraiser for the Red Cross. After ranting about the inexcusable small amount of people who bought his new album, “Blach Power” to raise the morale of the Malaysian refugees, West had concluded with only one, powerful claim, “George Bush doesn’t care about Blach people.”
Like West, more people have been speaking out against the horrors in Malaysia. Young actor Jake Gyllenhaal, is in the process of making a documentary showing what it’s really like in Malaysia right now. When interviewed what his goal for the movie was he stated, “I want people to watch my movie because they’ll know how compassionate I am to strangers and the world. People will hear what I have to say about global warming causing these natural disasters and the horrors of the Blach Genocide.” Similar to Leonardo Dicaprio’s movie, 11th Hour and Al Gore’s Inconvenient Truth, about the global climate shifts, his movie will make people feel guilty and inspire change and reformation in its audience, for a couple of days.
Now to answer the most important question: how much more considerate and
unselfish do I look when I look when I tell people I donated and what do I do?
Any donation is a help, so donate as little as possible, as long as you can tell all your friends and acquaintances that you donated, they’ll think you’re a good person.
When you’re telling someone you know that you’ve donated to the Malaysians, really pretend like you care, otherwise they won’t think you’re as empathetic as you want them to think you are. In order to prove them that you’re that person who really cares about others, openly tell everyone about your plans on adopting a Malaysian Blach child, even if it’s not true.
If you really want people to think you’re a caring person, never let your guard down and always pretend like you actually care about those poor Malaysians, or at least until it’s not on the news anymore.

These things don’t last forever, so when the Malaysian and conflicts stop appearing on the news, be sure find the next horrible thing to donate to.
Malaysian genocide and tsunami is now because Hurricane Katrina was so last year.

Television Generation

I was telling my friend the other day,

I am a product of television programs circa 1997-2000. That's where I gained influence from. I abide by the tenets of Boy Meets World, Hey Arnold, and Rugrats. The only things I know about guns are what I see on TV and videogames. The only time I've seen murder is on TV and videogames. The only time I've seen true love is on TV and videogames. The Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, and ABC/FOX family can teach me life lessons, philosophies, and adjust my morals with thirty minute programs. Corey Matthews, Shaun Hunter, and Topanga taught me about friendship, love, and struggles.

In the past, people had real heroes to look up to, not Tommy Pickles.

I Love Money

I think I can blame my "success" on having the mentality that the only way to be successful is to get good grades. Parents, teachers, and every other older person told me to get an education."Go to college." Ultimately making big bucks, which is the main avaricious goal every person wants.We don't excel because we want to; we excell because we want money.
Not because we want to change the world or make the world a better place.
I'm not saying that I'm not a greedy person.

I think everyone is greedy. Well, the majority.

Perfect Tattoo

Angelica Torres has a tattoo promoting my new site URL.

Bike or Die!

I woke up at about nine. Then the adventure began. Spent about... hella hours looking for a bike. It was HGTV stuff: design on a dime or weekend warriors. Driving around Oak Park and other various Sacramento thrift stores looking for a cheap bike, we found this one.. The first thrift shop we went to had this bike for sale for about 37 dollars with tax. Spent hours looking for the bike. And when we finally got home, we worked on removing the brakes and gear shifters and putting on a new handle bar. A couple more hours of exhaustion. Too much work. All I wanted to do was ride the bike. Then the rest of the night was spent riding. Oh and falling. I fell off the bike on a turn and slid against the pavement like five feet. I used my shoulder as a brake. It's all scraped up and stuff but whatever. This bike is "gnarly".

Happiness (From C'est La Vie)

(From my guest entry in C'est La Vie)
We live in 2008.
There's war, genocide, cyclones, death,
cults, racism, discrimination,
slavery, prejudice, AIDS,
cancer, car-accidents, murders,
and more death. Oh and don't forget about AP tests!
The list goes on.
C'est la vie. That's life.
What is there to be happy about?
Nothing, really. So let's start lowering our standards.
Don't have a bad day because you have a B+ in English.
Don't cry because your girlfriend/boyfriend broke up with you.
Don't complain when you can't go out and tell your parents that they're the worst parents ever.

We don't have the time. It's hard to take everything light-hearted. Really. But, we can't dwell on the things that really don't matter. We need to be happier more often. Be happy because much worse things can happen.



Yeah. It could happen. I'm not asking you to treat every day like it's your last. If I treated every day like it was my last, I wouldn't be going to school. I wouldn't be sitting here blogging. I think we should treat everyone like it's their last. Treat someone nice, they'll treat you nice. A whole aura of nice-ness will spread. Promise yourself not to keep a grudge against people, what's the use of that anyway? Everyone you will ever love will eventually die. So remind yourself, is there a reason why I'm mad at this person? They could be dead the next day.

I wish I had some sort of wrap-it-up theme statement.

Being sad is sad, being happy is happy.

You choose.

No Country For Old Children

Today's society will end in horror.
Not because of Global Warming.
Not because of African Genocides.
Not because of HIV/AIDS.
Not because the midwest is young and restless.
Not because some n*gga's might steal your necklace.
Not because some n*ggas' might steal your lexus.
Somebody tell these n*ggas who Kanye West is.

We have nine-year-old kids hooked on Myspace.
Fifteen-year-old kids in my English class showing up on ecstasy.
Fourteen-year-old kids getting sexed up.
Kids spending spending all of their allowance on Xbox-360 games and Wii-motes.
Spending hundreds on Jordans so they can wear them every once in while, but that's as long as they don't crease them!
The dark thing is not that we, as adolescents, spend and waste time and money on stupid things. No, it's greater than that. It's that we, as young adults, will become the new adult generation. We will become the doctors of tomorrow. The teachers of the future. The future adults (us) won't know how to cure new diseases or improve society, economy, or politics.
We spend our time creating, maintaining, and sustaining relationships over the internet.
We have nothing to pride ourselves over. We didn't fight in any wars.
We didn't have a great depression.
We didn't have a great reformation.
We won't have a great revolution.
The last movement we claim to participate in was the Hyphy one.

Culture and diversity will soon cease to exist.
In biology, the more biodiversity, the better. The more chance for mutations and evolution. The less biodiversity, and the offspring all end up with the recessive, unwanted genes. This applies to cultural-diversity. We need a great various amount of various types of people. But we don't. Everyone's the same. We all want to be original and fail doing so. No one can even grasp the idea of originality because it has has been raped of it's connotation.

We suck. We are trash. We are Generation Stupid.

Kevin's Book Club

1. The first rule of Kevin's Book Club is you do not talk about Kevin's Book Club.
2. The second rule of Kevin's Book Club is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT KEVIN'S BOOK CLUB.

Well, I read Fight Club. It's a great book.

Read it.

If you haven't seen the movie.

If you're too lazy to read it, just watch the movie.

Child Labor Sucks!

The asian depicted on the right side is probably related to me.

Go with the Flow

Not much homework at this time of my life. Days are spent playing tennis and baking in the sun. There's this game I found for PSP, it's called fl0w. Basically, I control a amoeba thing through water for about eternity. I move around and eat things. My character doesn't die or anything. It's made for relaxation. The game is backed with calm music and pretty colors. There should be classes in school made for relaxation. Life should just be more relaxing. There should be annual holidays of relaxation. Christmas and Thanksgiving aren't even relaxing; there's dinners to make and traveling to do. Everyone loves relaxing and no one likes stress.

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Now playing: Modest Mouse - The Good Times Are Killing Me
via FoxyTunes

Balls and Rod & Oozinator

We watched it in Chemistry not too long ago.


My friend, Kevin McCormick, introduced me to this new toy that sparked my attention.

Mountain Dew vs. My Spermatogonia

I drink soda very seldom; and when I do take on the act of drinking a glass of soda, my preferable choice would be Mountain Dew. So I'm at this taco truck and I'm about to purchase this bottle of Mountain Dew so I can splendor myself in the delicious... dew flavored beverage. That's the time when my friend goes "Don't drink Mountain Dew; it kills your sperm!"
Okay guys, I'm pretty certain that when I drink Mountain Dew, it's not going to kill too much of my sperm. I'm pretty certain that my spermatagonia will continue to go under meiosis and make some more of those gametes. And why are you so greedy about your sperm? Is there a sperm famine? And who are you to advise me what or what I should do regarding the health of my testicles? I'll take the sacrifice of some of my haploids to do the dew.

EDIT:
Oblivious to me, there was a word verification (Myspace's "Captcha") in order to comment my blogs. Now I'm happy to share that there isn't anymore. No signing in or anything, just leave a name or keep anonymous and share your thoughts.

Want to spread my knowledge?


Add this link to your page! Copy and paste the text below!

<a href="http://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8va2V2bnRyYW4uYmxvZ3Nwb3QuY29t"><img src="http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb217/kevintrannn/link.png"border=0></a>

Backflip Off a Wall

I'm notorious for it, but I don't want to keep doing it. Everyone's always asking me to do it for them. People have to understand that I'm not always ready to be hella tired. So ever since like last year, there was a .gif file floating around in the internets and I've seen it on people's myspaces who aren't mine. So keep this in your iPhone/Sidekick/PSP/wallet because I don't want to do it all the time. Just watch the loop!

Lose Faith Now!

He's probably on invisible. I heard he only signs on to talk to the Pope.

Imaginative

I drew this and several others with Kevin McCormick a year ago.

Bust a Nut

Er.. egg.

I came home from tennis today to see my sister getting finished up yelling at some kids for egg'ing the houses and cars all down the street. The p'nungas (Ellis 15) happened to be hella little and lame. I want to beat them up, but I don't want to go back to prison any time soon. I just got my teardrop tattoos removed, anyway.

I went to Key Club's District Convention last weekend. Fun. My gang's color was green.


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Now playing: Elliott Smith - Easy Way Out
via FoxyTunes

Vampire Weekend

Vampire Weekend has been topping the Kevin charts lately, check them out.

Japanese Commercials

Um.


Japanese people are pervs.

vhate

Who invented V8 juice? Hitler? It was probably the juice of punishment that Jewish inmates at Auschwitz got when they didn't give up their gold teeth because it tastes like crap. If you can see, the V8 bottle on the right of the picture is Spicy Hot V8, what the hell? Spicy beverage = stupid beverage. People at V8 were like, "Let's take all the nastiest fruits and vegetables that no one eats and put it in a bottle." It's probably just diluted ketchup. People who enjoy drinking V8 probably also enjoy killing babies. V8 is disgusting. Period.


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Now playing: Elliott Smith - Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands
via FoxyTunes

Scenarios

In English, we had to read scenarios and then describe how we would respond to the situation. WE had to respond to this incredibly tough situation.

You are at your older cousin's house playing video games. It is dark outside and you need to get home. Your cousin, who has been drinking, offers to drive you home. You know that he/she might have had too much to drink, but you need to get home and it is too far to walk.

In retort, my answer was

Today, with the knowledge of a bigboy fifteen-year-old, I would ask my aunt of uncle to drive me home. This solves both problems, my cousin will not have to drive me home drunk and I will also be home. Furthermore, if my aunt or uncle has an electric or hybrid car, this can solve the problem of global warming. It's like killing three birds with one stone. My aunt and ucle can also drive me down to Africa and we can solve the problem in Darfur.

imnotanm&m

One of my homegirls made this for me, it doesn't even look like me.

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Now playing: Modest Mouse - Black Cadillacs
via FoxyTunes

Model Status

This is the picture my cousin, Diana, took that made me famous, well, sort of. She likes to take pictures with her like Canon Rebel or one of those really big cameras that aren't on your RAZR that you take your myspace pictures with. Like, an actual good digital camera. I guess her photo teacher put this picture of me playing Guitar Hero in some sort of schoolwide competition and she won her school wide competition. That basically means, I'm America's Next Top Model, or at least Yerba Buena High School's. Tyra Banks called me, she said she wants to make love with me. So did every other hot model. They texted me and commented me on my blogs. (Which you can do too, without signing on to anything! Just click the link!) Yeah, so this is a warning for you to be cautious about my hand model career launching like a Russion ICBM during the Cold War.

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Now playing: Kings Of Leon - McFearless
via FoxyTunes

Every Fifteen Minutes...

someone tells me that every fifteen minutes a person is involved in a fatal or wounding car accident related to alcohol. My school did this whole shindig where they reenacted a crash and the death of many students and the arrest of the drivers. We had to goto this assembly where we mourned the fake death of the kids. This is kind of f'ed up, this mocks every single person who deserves to be mourned who ACTUALLY were killed like this AND the whole shindig supposedly took $200,000 to execute. Also, they do this for like a billion schools. Why don't they take the millions of dollars and make some technology that doesn't let you drive if you're drunk? Yes, yes, I know that the skit was supposed to inform us, but I'm darn sure that for most of the kids, the only thing they learned is that rescue helicopters are very cool. There are so many ways we can put that money to better work. But, whatever, the money's already spent. 200,000 dollars can be spent to buy every single kid at our school Kanye West's "Graduation" CD, but broken cars, ambulances, fire trucks, and a rescue helicopter will suffice.

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Now playing: Radiohead - Airbag
via FoxyTunes

Miso Souper

Cutting tofu cubes is a diligent task. I made Miso Soup for my Japanese Culture project. Also, for my Japanese project I bombed Pearl Harbor. I spent a lot of time today with this Miso soup and it wasn't half bad. I don't have enough time to think about a blog tonight.

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Now playing: Kanye West - Bittersweet Poetry (ft. John Mayer) (Bonus Track)
via FoxyTunes

The World Is Safe From Artificial Black Holes

April Fools!


Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/29/science/29collider.html?scp=8&sq=hawaii&st=nyt

BASICALLY, the particle accelerator can collide protons together and create a small black hole that can eat up Earth. This is bad. Worse than Britney Spear's comeback. Worse than Panic at the Disco. Worse than getting superman'd by Soulja Boi. I blame Global Warming. No, wait, I blame George Bush for not caring about black people. (Thanks Kanye!)

Tom [from Myspace] has the power to prevent this apocalypse. He controls millions of teenagers (and the pedophiles who prey on them) on Myspace. With his Myspace army, he can comment the scientists who made the particle accelerator and tell them to stop. Maybe a couple mean picture comments and rude messages and we prevented the termination of Earth. Sarah Bareilles can write a love song for the particle accelerator, not because it asked for it, but because it needs one and T-Pain can buy it a drink.

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Now playing: Modest Mouse - Ocean Breathes Salty
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Kanye Best

Kanye West, born in Atlanta,
but you come from Chicago.
You and me should make babies,
making some Yellow Mulattoes.
You wrote "Jesus Walks",
you deserve a statue on a steeple,
because of you I know
"George Bush doesn't care about black people."
You started off with Dropout,
then registration, and now graduation.
With these three hit albums,
you should be the leader of our nation.
You'd be America's king,
sitting on a throne and you'd wear a crown.
When you walk around your Kingdom,
your peasants will "All Falls Down".
You wrote songs like "Stronger",
"Touch the Sky", and "Gold Digger".
With all these songs, you amazed me
and became my number one nigg.. rapper.
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Now playing: Kanye West - I Wonder
via FoxyTunes

Seven, Eight, Nine, Tennis

My life has been reduced to about four things.

1. Tennis
2. Guitar
3. AOL Instant Messenger
4. School

1. I play tennis. A lot. If I'm not at school or home, I'm probably playing tennis. It's the sport of Jesus. In 15 B.C, when Jesus was fifteen and before he could get his license, he created the sport of Tennis. Back then, it was Sin Net, but we reverted the name to Tennis. The reason why it's called Sin Net is because if you hit the ball (back then it was a mass of clouds and blessings) into the net, that means you have committed sins. Jesus always won. The reason why I don't win all the time is because I wish I was as good as Jesus, but that's envy, one of the seven deadly sins.

2. I play guitar. My chords bring all the girls to the yard. My guitar playing makes the girls come (to the yard).

3. A I 'M basically on A I M all the time. My screen name is SmarterChild.

4. I goto school sometimes too.

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Now playing: Daft Punk - One More Time
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